Reflecting this World Hijab Day, by Mabrookah

I have always had some sort of connection with the hijab. My mum has been wearing the Hijab since I was little and I have always wanted to be like her, but of course as you grow up and see non Muslims not wearing a headscarf, you want to join in. One of the first moments I considered wearing the hijab was in 2021 while on holiday in Nigeria. I was wearing a pretty salmon dress and a pink head scarf to match and for the first time I looked at myself and thought I looked so pretty! 

From then onwards, I felt more confident wearing hijab but I never wore it outside my home due to the fear of judgment. I go to a school where there are not many Muslims, and most of the few Muslims there don’t wear hijab. I forgot about this wish to wear a hijab until around April 2022 when I was going through a really bad phase of anxiety. I felt hopeless but  Allah was there for me and as my spirituality increased the wish to wear hijab came back.

I procrastinated as I thought I needed a “clean slate” to start wearing it but this wish didn’t stop bugging me. In December I told myself I would do it on the last day of school. It was stressing me out. I didn’t think I had the guts to wear it. 

On the 16th of December 2022, it was a non-uniform day and I wore a hijab to school for the first time! I had a pink jumper on and borrowed my Mum’s pink hijab. My mum dropped me off at school and I walked into my form  but my friends hadn’t arrived yet, so I was worried about their reaction.  When they arrived,  they were positive and so happy for me, which made me feel good. I could feel others looking and to be honest I don’t blame them in a school where there were barely any hijabis.

It must have been weird for me to wear it as many people didn’t know I was Muslim. I brushed them off as wearing the hijab gave me some sort of superpower!  I felt confident for the first time in years, and to my surprise the overall response was positive and I received some compliments, which made me feel better.

The day was going well until period 2 when I had a supply teacher who often makes negative comments. She told me that I needed to take my “hood off”, and I calmly explained to her that it wasn’t a hood but it was a hijab. She then said “I have never seen you wear that. Why do you get to wear that now? You don’t pick and choose”.  She said other stuff referring to a blanket and saying to take the blanket off as well. Being a timid girl, this made me panic a lot as I didn’t expect to be in such a situation. I had prepared myself to deal with students, but negative comments from a teacher was something that I did not plan.

I planned to report this to school after the lesson but another student beat me to it and reported it to safeguarding. Safeguarding told me that she didn’t know better and they would have “talk” with her. The teacher never apologised to me, so I doubt they ever did have that talk. I always have thought this experience was interesting; it gave me a glimmer of hope for my generation, the fact that my classmates were able to call out wrongdoings and injustices to make things fairer for all. Many people in my class were also making sure I was okay after that experience which helped regain some of my confidence again.

Luckily after this event I haven’t really experienced any Islamophobia, and I feel like wearing the hijab gave me some sort of super power. My confidence grew and I was brave enough to get therapy for anxiety which really helped. With this new confidence I was able to join my local youth cabinet, which opened my eyes to social action and the ways I could actually make a difference. Through my youth cabinet I found the #iwill Movement, which again has massively helped with my social action and desire to create change.

I now hope I can be an inspiration to other young Muslim girls that want to wear the hijab, but feel like they can’t. People will always have something to say, positive or negative, but it’s up to you to ignore the negative talk and keep your head high.

For other general readers, I would strongly advise that before you make any statements about Islam or the hijab – do your research. It’s okay to be curious and ask questions, but it’s never okay to make someone feel bad for doing what they want to do. People shouldn’t have to go back and forth with wanting to wear a religious statement because of how badly people treat others.

I hope you enjoyed reading this and Happy World  Hijab day

Mabrookah 🙂